my story
I realised that there must be so many others whose seemingly ‘normal’ upbringing are currently driving and influencing their lives in the same way, and that the learnings from my experience can help change that. I felt a sense of purpose for the first time in my life. I found the true me.
My story starts here
My name is Karin Koornhof, and my story reads much like most people out there, a girl from a small town, youngest of three, who moved around quite a bit. My parents got divorced when I was just 6 years old, and with that my dad moved 800km away, but nowadays coming from a broken home isn’t strange. My mom remarried, and we went to live on a farm, which meant I had to go to boarding school at age 13. I adapted quickly, as by now I’ve learnt to cope with not having my parents around all the time.
Come to the end of high school, I wanted to study drama, be an actor, however, seeds of doubt from the people around me made me change my mind. I pivoted once again and went down another road instead. That lead me to a job in media that didn’t really make me happy. I was good at it, it suited my bubbly social personality, and in today’s world most people are in jobs they hate anyway. Right?
At that point, if you would’ve asked me about my childhood and my life, there was nothing that I would’ve highlighted as out of the norm. It was similar to what most people deal with. I didn’t realise at the time that, through it all, I was learning coping mechanisms, solidifying beliefs around abandonment and my own self-worth, and hiding parts of myself just to feel safe.
fast forward
It wasn’t until a trip to India at age 30 that I started to ask the right questions….
The poverty in India was confronting, yet I was constantly shown such generosity by the local people. One night, as I arrived at our 6-star hotel, the stark contrast of that opulent building to its surroundings suddenly stood out to me, and I started sobbing. It took me a while to realise I was overwhelmed by the unconditional love and gratitude I was experiencing. My perspective changed in an instant, and it sparked in me questions of “Who am I, and what do I bring to the world?”.
I got home and started what is now a 15-year (and counting…) journey of self-discovery, therapy, courses, and soul-searching. The more I learnt about myself, the more I realised just how much influence my upbringing actually had in my adult life. It shaped my decisions, my relationships (or lack thereof) and my outlook on life. I was coping, rather than living. It was unfulfilling.
a healing journey
So, at age 40, I quit my job, packed up my life and put myself on a plane to Vietnam, alone. Little did I know it would end up being a 4-year spiritual deep-dive, a healing adventure. It was here that I challenged the roots of my negative thinking and behavioural patterns, faced the emotional trauma of abandonment and self-worth that my childhood caused, reframed my beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not worthy of love”, and discovered the parts of me I had hidden for so long.
I realised that there must be so many others whose seemingly ‘normal’ upbringing are currently driving and influencing their lives in the same way, and that the learnings from my experience can help change that. I felt a sense of purpose for the first time in my life. I found the true me.
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
Pema Chodron
my qualifications
- Certified Mindfulness Teacher
- Diploma in Professional Counselling (CTAA & IHTCP accredited)
- Childhood Trauma Certification (CTAA accredited)
- Diploma in Languages and Communication (CPUT)
- Higher Diploma in Integrated Marketing Communication (AAA School of Advertising)